New Blog

Thank you everyone who has faithfully followed this blog for over 2 years! after an important psychological breakthrough moment, I have consolidated all 4 of my blogs into one, called HouseFairy. Please join me over there for continuing discussions of ALL things Homeschooly, Birthy, Homemakingy, Fashiony, Rock n Rolly, and all things intelligent happy sad funny cool unique dreamy inspiring supportive contemplative and beyond!

Click here for the new blog!

Warmly,
your Housefairy,
MamaJoy

Small space chic

I am currently checking this cool site out. I have always had fun ideas about using bright color, but we are not good at furniture arranging and end up with the stuff all around the perimeter of the room. I go to IKEA and marvel at how much style they pack itno tohose teensy little "show-rooms" but I forget how to do it once I get home.

I use IKEA's website to look at ideas for home decor and arrangement. If you let the website show you its features, they have dozens of bedrooms and kirchens and dining rooms and living rooms to scroll through, from plain and dark to bright and childlike.

Any small space design tips to share?

2009

I did not make New Year's Resolutions this year, per se. But since I am at a hugely transitional time in my life, it was only natural that some changes came about once the Holiday Bustle settled down. So, although this was never intended as resolutions, per se, it has become a wonderful new 2009 already. Here are some of the changes and plans and we are all feeling it and it is good:

Managing Time:
Use wind up clock and egg timer for some basic daily events. Lunch at 12. Nap at 1. Get up at 3. Clean the house (tidy for Daddy) at 4:30. Start cooking at 5. Casey to bed at 7. Mama go on a walk right afterwards (only twice so far it has been sheer ice and I am afraid to fall) Greta and Mickey hang out free time 8pm. Charlie to bed 8ish. Greta and Mickey to bed 9:30.

Certain Days for Certain Events:
Use charts (I hate that word but I made a poster for each day, careful not to overload it with minutae) as guides. Monday serious schoolwork, Boy Scouts.
Tuesday Girl Scouts, Greta and Mama go out for girl-date.
Wednesday pretty open so far but might become reading/library/homemade "book club" of sorts...laundry day.
Thursday field trip or visiting, Daddy works until 8pm so we have casual dinner ie grilled cheese on a blanket or something "fun".
Friday is our new Homeschool Co-Op at a church across town and the kids are enrolled in amazing classes all morning. (Tell you more when we start up, tomorrow!)
Saturday family fun, make menu
Sunday Daddy and Mickey go grocery shopping at 10 am, relaxation and housework, prep for the new week

Simple but very full. This is all we can muster for now and the kids will need some time to really trust me regarding this new rhythm but it REALLY feels right.

I am secretly and slowly cutting back on TV and Video Games but for now I am able to do so in a way that doesnt feel punitive. Do not get me wrong, I am not afraid to upset the little darlings, I just feel like the current amounts are ok. Someday I will lay out my personal opinions of tv and video games and how our family uses technology to work FOR us and not let it take us over! I am also very aware that there are seasons of my mothering and nursing/crawling baby in the dead of Michigan winter is a very distinct season indeed, one of long hours and no car most days.

We are also massivly downsizing--for a hopeful move to the beloved tiny house across from the scrumptious park--but even if we stay here. We are really enjoying being together, and living free uncluttered lives.

I am also cutting WAY back on meat. I was a vegetarian from Nove,ber 2000 until November 2007 but then went overboard in bacon cheeseburger land and now...its like 2 times a week chicken breast and the occasional smoky link at breakfast.

Making menus and only buying those items.
Recycling everything. No we did not and now yes we do. (Got cute little bins and everything.)
Ordering pizza Friday nights and that is the only thing we eat out, ever. Not one single Tim Hortons timbit in the car, nothing. Challenging ourselves to try all the little pizza places in hopes of discovering a special one, and using COUPONS!

Still growing the back of my hair as I keep cutting my bangs....not bleaching so it stays healthy enough to grow....not gonna give up on the dream of high (blue!) ponytail within a year or two!

Simple Lving/Escaping Affluenza

So, as you may recall, about a year and a half ago, Summe/fall of 07, I was heavily into the downsizing, simple living thing. small house society, all of it. and then I got pregnant, and everything stopped on that front. We did move into a smaller house, but WITHOUT a real switch in our mentality at all, we kind of just crowded about 80% of our STUFF into a littler place. I was 9 months pregnant when we moved, and semi-paralyzed with a separated pelvis and numb hands from water retention induced carpal tunnel syndrome... I was a useless whale who was grateful to watch my hubby and a couple of our friends hauling in all of the STUFF and furniture into the new littler place. but like I said, we didnt change our selves, we didnt change our mentality.

right now I am looking at a house that is across the street from a glorious park, one that has mjor significance to our family. but it is little. Way too little for your average persons' taste for a family of 7. But I cant get it out of my mind. it has 3 beds/1bath just like we have had for years...but it is small. and cheerful. and across the street from a foresty park. and one mile from the hip downtown of our favorite town. So its all realistic and stuff.....

So I got back on the old websites. the simple living and the frugal livin and the google searches have alot more hits than they used to--people are embracing this 'lifestyle' more than they were 1 year ago, if the amount of google hits is any indicator--and I like it.

What is this really about? Well, for one thing, on our modest income, our kids are still acting and seeming very--shall I say it--SPOILED. Maybe it was Christmas. Maybe it is cable tv. Maybe it is busy nursing Mama letting them have entertainment as their main life's activity for far too long. But all I know is that "things have to change" is still true. I see the people with their big big houses and their Mall and S.U.V. lifestyles and their credit card debt and their solve-it-with-shopping attitudes and I know that I do not like that--but we arent doing that much different than them. and I KNOW I do not like that. So its time to change. For me, moving (again) IS important, IS necessary, IF a special house came up and it has. If we dont get that one we will keep looking while we simplify while we are still here. I know I ranted on and on about how FAB this place was and how GREAT the neighbors were but well reality has set in and--just trust me-- there is another side to this coin.

Steve and I know what we want, we just have not done a whole lot to get there. Little new babies can stop life in its tracks and we get that, understand that, embrace it. But talks have resumed. Priorities are being re-discussed. What do we WANT for our kids? What kind of people do we aspire to be, to become, what do we want to model for our children, how do we want to live, and why, and where, and how?

I would love to have little, want less, and have activities and outings and reading and writing and visiting with friends and traveling be what we do. I want my kids to help others and to feel pride in their work, have a thirst for knowledge, and great social skills. I want them to be responsible and polite, humble and honest, free thinking and unique. and I feel pretty sure that if we don't peel them away from the situation they are in, those goals might never be attained. Right now there is FAR too much time spent on these activities:
Griping about the house is a mess
Griping about being bored
"Cleaning" in the form of shuffling and reshuffling our crap all day
Desires to buy more stuff (often cleverly designed as "solutions")
Eating junky food
"I cant find_____xyz___" you name it, its "lost"
Feeling like we are sucky humans because the house is "messy"

I'm done with it all. We have too much stuff, nobody asked for all this, it all came from good intentions, creative toys, fun games, but it is all too much again. And there seems to be no time for:
Playing in the leaves
Walks
Reading for hours on end
Farmers Market
Baking
Long Talks
even the board games that are my husbands huge hobby, we dont seem to "have time for" which is insane!

When we went on a trip last October to a friends' tiny cottage/mobile home in Ludington, MI, I was all abuzz with the simple living kick. Every moment of that vacation I was obsessed with we could do this we could totally do this this is what I want for my life this is perfection --it was 4 adults and 4 kids in a 2 bedroom mobile home with a little washer dryer combo in the bathroom and I was in heaven. Here are a few things I LOVED about that little place:
When you did a load of laundry, you had to take it right into the front room and fold it and PUT IT AWAY right then and there. With no space for procrastination, you just dont.

With one TV, you had to really cooperate and share and decide to watch A PROGRAM. It was unbearable to have it on all day so we watched Iron Chef (cool cooking show) before bed and all 8 of us enjoyed it and then it was over and we turned it off.

Even though it was in the low 40's, we went outside ALOT. "On a walk". "to the park". "On another walk". "To town". you had one coat/mittens/boots set and you knew where it was.

Like my Grandma's house, when you made a meal, you immediately cleaned it up afterwards, down to the last crumb. Or else where would you sit? At Grandma, around the dining room table WAS where you hung out. (Even though she had a large living room and a basement, you sat around that dining room table and there was scarcely room to scoot your chair back but thats where you hung out and discussed things. I love it.) I like having to deal with messes because you HAVE to.

I guess what I am really after are some physical constraints. I have seen that for me and my little kids and maybe my personality tendencies, a big old place is not for me. Its just more housework, more places to have undone piles of stuff, and more to worry about when we are out. I really have a curse and a gift of constantly analyzing lifestyles and social commentary goes through my mind on overdrive, I devour TV shows that highlights "lifestyles"-- from the Duggars and their 18 kids, to the family that lives in the RV, to reading about homesteaders and apartment dwellers and houseboats and people who live in caves and water silos and have dreamed and fantasized about how this would and could pertain to me and my family. some ideas have turned out differently than I had expected. (Some dreams are just dreams--some are just daring until/unless I am sick, pregnant, incapacitated and then wow "go play in the west wing you filthy brats" can seem really tempting!)

I watch these shows with my kids, and we are very fond of Extreme Home Makeover. this is one where they help families who have a a special needs child or situation usually and they make them these amazing state of the art facilities. and they are always ENORMOUS, like 4000 square feet sometimes. and we ooh and ahh over the stylish color palates and the elevators and the jetted tubs....but we only "get jealous" when we watch the show about the people who live in a camper, or have a couple of chickens, or have a million children, or a Daddy who works from home. So that shows me that me and the kids are on the same page. Very cool to know.

Well, we will look further into the house across from the park. And we will re-start the decluttering process and cease all purchases for a long time. We have enough stuff to last a million lifetimes. Now I want to put all that aside and have walks and reading and cooking and laughter and fun and adventure. And I dont want to be worryin all the way home from the museum about "the mess" awaiting me back home.

try a google search of the various things and see what you find:
Simple Living with kids
Small house large family
Small house style
Frugal living large family

Its very exciting and inspirational to me! More soon....
Housefairy

Water Bill

We just got a $700 water bill for three months. My mom says that is really high and something is wrong. But we thought that at our old house.

We run the washer all day and all night, 24/7, yes its true. But (sorry to be gross) nobody around here gets a daily shower, I would say Steve and Greta take the most and neither of them lingers in there like I sometimes do. We dont have a swimming pool or a "leak"--but man o man do we run that dishwasher. 3 or 4 times a day.

So I think in the interest of flat -out-cash, I am going to go buy a huge huge stockpile of paper plates, paper bowls and paper cups. I know its bad for the Earth but so is running water, etc. Then I could wash only pots and silverware. I really want to try it for 3 months and see what happens cuz this is so bad!

rural/urban ramblings for parents

First of all, lets suspend all "realities", ok? Cause thats boring.





Now, I want to tell you that I have a huge thing that I obsess about, a yin-yang, a black-versus-white that I always think about: Rural versus urban. What do I want? What is better? What is cooler? Where do I really want to live? (again, we live right here and we arent moving. this is about vibes and dreams)





I think that fresh air and simple living absolutely and totally ROCK. Vermont, trees, no raking leaves, burning firewood, making a big huge cauldron of soup for little kids who wear moccasins and sleep in trundle beds made of logs, digging and playing with shovels and rocks, rosy cheeks, goodness, anti-consumerism, back to the land, hearty healthy goodness and pure human existence, that is what I LOVE. A little patch of unspoiled land, wood smoke and oak leaves, wool sweaters and hearty grog, a chess set, an old truck, books and maybe radio reception. A garden, a real garden that you live on, a drive into town being a big deal, popcorn made in one of those metal roasty-things, tree houses, you know. EXCEPT: Actual living in the actual "country" seems to actually mean bored angry hicks on crystal meth, nothing to do except get wasted and shoot things, high unemployment rates, scary trailer people, loneliness, lack of access to 911 service. I picture me and Steve sitting under the stars...and then I picture the kids growing into adulthood "wanting to get the heck out of this retarded hell-hole" and leaving me behind with the chickens and the neo-cons. sucky, right?
Ok, so urban dreams: Some gorgeous walk-up apartment , maybe a brownstone, in a vibrant community, jazz music fills the air, people of all colors hanging out, museums, concerts, markets wafting the incredible smells of far away delicacies into your window, writers, musicians, all coming to call, a truly eclectic lifestyle, all inclusive, open, lots of eating at the sidewalk cafe, lots of coffee, bagels, and colors. Vibrant, full, rich, human. NO shortage of experiences, ideas, liberal paradise, intelligent companionship, gorgeous mid century modern furnishings, old and new and poetry slams. EXCEPT: actual living in the actual big city seems to actually mean gun fire, crime, exorbitant rents, no fresh air, no quiet, no peace, no solitude. Materialism, shopping, exhaust fumes, no stars in the sky, no animals besides pigeons, electronica invading all manner of daily affairs, kids not even knowing what a treehouse is, let alone having the space to actually build one, things like creeks, bogs, and swimming-holes all replaced by chuck e cheese and the indoor splash zone at the 300$ a night hotel, chlorine-burns included.

SO what do I actually hate? Suburbia. God I hate suburbia. But so many of us live in it, and the attempt to have it all is actually at its highest possibilities in a suburban setting, I guess. Depending on what metropolis you are a part if, if you are at all, we could feasibly have our creek and our museums, too. But at what price? Isnt there a hollowness in making a tree house from neat and tidy pressboard from Lowe's? Isnt there a hollowness in growing a garden just for fun, and not really bothering to care if it goes bad or gets eaten by suburban bunnies, because, really, we are just gonna eat at Red Robin anyhow? Isnt there a strange irony or something about our gas guzzling treks to "vacation" in the over crowded cement-pads we call camping, or for that matter, our gas guzzling treks to the city to get our lil' cultural groove on and have a night of Greek food and open mic in that part of town?

I have no solution, really, and I do not think I am onto anything new here. People in NewYork flock in droves to Central Park, and people in rural areas crave and demand the same shopping opportunities as their city neighbors. So, what? the rich, they have more than one house-bam-solved. The trend is also to maybe move away to a little cabin by the lake when we are old, when the kids are grown--which brings me to my real existential dilemma, if you will: How and what is the best way to raise our kids? Is it fair to keep them out in the country when they are trying to navigate the unsteady waters of puberty and the only other kids they ever met were at the truck stop and whose dark circles under their eyes told of glue huffing and sexual abuse? Is it fair to keep them in the high rise apartments, away from nature, away from the sounds of our planet, the birds, the trees, the rhythms of the sun obliterated by the billboards' glare, never growing familiar with an old Oak, never "knowing" a creek or befriending a squirrel, never "building" anything that wasnt made of red and blue plastic, or eating anything that wasnt lovingly prepared and preserved for ultra shelf-life from the flickering fluorescent aisles of megamarket incorporated? Would your toddlers have heart attacks if your cable tv went out?

Luddism?... Love it. Hate it. I know all about it. Its the reluctant feeling that we sort of laugh about in our family as I kind of pretend in an earth-mama/maternal feminist leaning that I dont know how to hook up the DVD player, or "work" the Ipod(s).

Our circle of friends has done smashingly well at straddling these lines, in inner ring suburbs, with intelligent/artistic/liberal leanings, love of technology and real camping, love of coking over the fire and wearing clothes that they certainly did not sew themselves. (But they could!)

Maybe this is where we really are, gen X, embracing all we have inherited, appreciating the arts, the quirks, the things our dual income parents in the shoulder padded 80's thought they had to eschew for us, maybe this is exactly where we are and maybe the only thing that has to change at all is the guilt and the dissatisfaction.

We have friends who like to call themselves Urban Homesteaders, raising rabbits, honeybees and homeschooling, right in a regular neighborhood, on a regular block. I like that idea. We have friends who are amazing cooks and hikers but hire out all of their yardwork. We have friends who are musicians, repairmen, repairwomen, blue collar, white collar and all sorts of family situations. But none of us lives in the actual city or the actual country and none of us are suburban jerkos, obsessed with our lawns or going to the mall.

We are choosing to raise our kids right here because of the neighborhood. It is amazing, a truly supportive community, with activities and friends and a real sense of kids first. Yeah, lots of those kids you never see--they go from school to lessons to dads house to moms house to daycare to grandmas to school to lessons to camp..their little feet rarely stepping out of the car. But for all of those poor little souls, there are tons of kids who really do play with sticks and mud and who run run run until their cheeks blaze pink and it has nothing to do with tokens, flashing lights or high fructose corn syrup, bless their hearts.

We have a unique opportunity and burden raising kids right now. Too many choices can be a burden, but such an opportunity, as well. Read up, learn alot, and follow your hearts, parents. Then put down all those books and just be with the kids. Watch them, listen to them, see what feels right, see what brings out their best, see what does not. Build your lives accordingly, as finances will allow, remembering all along the vast majority of people on Earth who do not have any such trivial "choices" to make at all!

confessions/new ways

So I have been working EXTREMELY diligently on this whole new realm of running a proper family. As in, the budget. The menus. The daily tasks, the weekly tasks, the activities.....its alot!

How can I, in my 13th year of marriage, just be starting this? In my 12th year of motherhood, with 5 kids? I do not know.

Maybe in my rebellious way I thought being a "soccer mom" with an electronic pda in my well groomed hand was too repugnant for my rock n roll sensibilities and so I was stuck in the quagmire of being in my 20's, a wifey and yet just a girl, a mother and a homeowner and yet more than satisfied with the promise of a little taco bell on a friday nite with my friends and my husband....yeah it was hard to pay the bills, but hey man, bills are bullshit, right? Pay the mortgage/rent, get some groceries, the rest works out....

*ahem*

it is not cute anymore. It never was, but there was no one to show me any different. I had myself convinced that we were kinda middle class--we had cable and a car, right? anyhow, we hit rock bottom tons of times. Didnt even phase us, really, to have no money, negative money, etc. It was like a dream, just a weird low level stress dream, and there was always that vaguely self-pitying fantasy that "we didnt make alot of money" and that we should be "proud" that we lived at all on such modest means, and with no debt!

Well, in our family pregnancy is expensive. Not babies. Not kids. Pregnancy. The cost: Loss of One Adult--Mom! What does this mean? This means that I, the Mom, will kind of make meals and will do the homeschool lessons, but thats about it. No budgeting, no menus, no grocery shopping, no bill organizing, no saving, impromptu restaurant purchases daily, special herbs, special comfort items, special drinks special pillows special movies clothes shoes music books bedding support garments AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

But we are done with pregnancy. And my husband tried his darndest. He is an astonishingly helpful person, but he works all day, he's worse (read: optimistic/in denial) with money than I am, and well, he ran the show 5 times, and I am now officially considering myself being in an intense period of maternity since 2002 (See other blog for explanation).

SO

I came to my mom, who is incredible with money, and begged her for advice AND money. And she did. She helped us out, but better than that, it helped us learn to do this on our own now. I had the worrysome task of presenting her with ALL the information, and flat out asking her if we were delusional or if we could actually live on what Steve makes. I thought there was a higher than 50% chance she would say "get a job, deary" but she came back with great news: we could do it, and save, too! So we made good trial "worksheets" and several attempted budget plans, but they still didnt seem right. They seemed un realistic, too simplistic, what was the problem, exactly? Why didnt mom's little sheets about "Gas, Electric, Groceries, Cable, rent" seem to have anything to do with wherever it was that the money was going? We had sworn off restaurants, gifts, new clothes, slurpees, drivin around whatsoever, Steve eating lunch out, electronics, entertainment....so where the hell was the money going?

ahem. the martyrous and virtuous ME, buying the martyous and virtuous MISCELLANEA, is where. To WalMart Corp, thank you. How embarassing! Was it knick knacks? Candles? Throw pillows? No, no, no, none of that would have passed my new frugal standards of acceptability--it was just--miscellanea! Nothing exciting! Stuff we "need" that was "super cheap here at walmart so I better grab it". Tape. (do other moms, homeschoolers or otherwise, buy as much scotch tape as we do?) Sandwhich bags. Straws. Kleenex. I dont know!!!! But I buy ALOT of it. Grab grab grab throw it in the cart its only 2 bucks its only 3 bucks its only 4 bucks holy crap why is my bill 80, 90, 120$ what did i do its nothing exciting at all i might as well have bought some gorgeous new shoes and took the whole family camping in them, this SUCKS!

So THAT is the part 2 of this new me, this new organized penny pinching me. Part one was Mom gives us money and we are forever grateful and we pay all our bills and swear to stop spending on anything exciting fun or tasty. Fine. Got it. but part TWO is where the real deal begins, facing my apparent addiction to putting flibbety flub in the cart. and its never ever anything cool, thats what kills me! Its never Halloween decor, its never little socks with whimsical patterns on them, its never raspberry body spritzer or curtain rods with little glass balls on the ends of them! These are the thingies I proudly ignore when I shop at the insideous walmart---but its the lesser stuff that is still killing us.

I am in full charge of the bank account online. I also write it all down, even though its all right there almost instantaneously online, I write it all down. And I have goals. Pay the bills, by the food, gas up the car....but THEN I want to save up for a real van. A Full Size Van. We are unsafe in our minivan AND its horrid to all be in it.

I am also staying home tons more. If we want the car for the day we have to drive Daddy to work and of course go pick him up. I am thinking alot more before we just do this randomly. If I have no car we will not drive about spending gas. We will not shop. We will more likely be home doing our habits and rhythms. There will be a much higher chance of me cooking the planned meals. THEN I can go out in the evenings, (with the baby unless its a real quickie thing) to get away get a break get my head on straight, have a time where I am not being asking a trillion questions or breaking up fights or wincing in pain from the screaming/squealing noises of our household as of late. I like the library for something like that, and have to make sure my library -bound car doesn't head for Target or Walmart instead for some innocuous 90 dollar toilet paper instead ;)
Mom, if you read this blog, (does anyone?) I already told you this but you saved our family, for reals. Thank you.

To everyone else who kinda knows they need to cut back and kinda knows how but gets sort of stuck at those cute recipe idea areas of those cute frugal livin websites---maybe you are just buying too much damn flibbety flub at walmart. Its worth checking it out! Maybe you dont have to bake your own saltines or sew your own winter coat. Maybe thats not for you right now. Maybe just a hiatus from all shopping whatsoever. Im trying.

Organize our schedules

Plan menus and do not stray from them

Organize and plan for our income

Keep working on finding a rhythm for our housework

Keep up the good new homeschool routines

Stick to bed times, naptimes

Make and keep special days for special events--make things meaningful and instill the fine art of waiting for something in the children

Less spontaneity

Keep on top of it all daily

Make time for fun as well as time for work

Value our time and see the worth in organizing it

Value our money and see the worth in budgeting it

Special days of the week for certain activities

Bedtimes for grownups (!!!!!!!!!!!!!! uncool!!!!!!! panic!!!!!! but always worth it!!!!!!)

: )

Did I mention how much I love our dear little new house?

It is just right. Truly-- in the way the Mama Bears chair was too soft and Daddy Bears chair was too hard but Baby Bears chair was just right--- that is this house.



Sure we could use more bedrooms, sure we could use more bathrooms, sure the kitchen is minuscule...but I love it love it love it.



It is a cozy cabin to me. It is easy to clean. It gets warm about a minute after you turn the heater on, and cool the minute you turn the a/c on. It is sunny and sweet and I dont think I want to move for a long long time--very unlike me, not that I am a dissatisfied person but more than I am a wanderlust person.



I just love our dear little house. There are a million trees, a nice little winding path, golden wood floors, it is just absolutely perfect.

Chemically induced bliss

LOL great title, right?

Well, lemme tell you about something I am quite excited to do today, lil' miss housewifey that I am full time again ;)

I saw a commercial for Mr. Clean with Febreeze scent and I immediately sent Daddy and the kids out to get some! now, lest any greenies try to tell me how bad that stuff is, I am going to interrupt you; this hippie mama has been using White Vinegar and Dr Bronners to clean her entire world for over 10 years....floors, diapers, bathroom, glass....but ya know what? I want to smell something other than old salad today! And that is why I am going to do all the dishes, pick up all the toys, and make up a big hot bucket of Mr. Clean with Febreeze scent. I am opening all the windows and this place is going to be Y-U-M-M-Y! I am doing floors, walls, and all surfaces and hopefully some little kidlets will want to join me in the scrub and sniff fun.

With 2 rabbits, a cat, a diaper pail, 6 people's garbage, and a house whose windows have been shut for SIX months, this is going to be a big, big improvement! Hooray!

Joy's Carpet Cleaning service

Last summer, I was faced with a little dilemma: to throw out or to professionally clean a beloved rug of ours. The thing is, it was only about $40 to start with, and I did not want to do either thing, but it was FILTHY. It had been rolled up for months, and there was dried smashed banana on it, and general grime--I think even some cat barf.

So, I tried something that would not hinder my options to still get the thing professionally cleaned or to of course throw it out.....here is what I did.

I made a big bucket of hot water with a little splash of Tide in it. I took the rug out to the driveway, and got on my hands and knees and just crawled all over this thing, scrubbing and scrubbing every inch of it with an old wooden bristle-brush. I scrubbed and scrubbed it with hot detergent water, soaking it, and the bubbles were grey, and I wasn't sure if this was working at all...but on I scrubbed. My knees hurt, my back ached, and I felt like I looked ridiculous to the neighbors with my big ole butt in the air in the driveway--but there was no where else to do this!

then I hung the heavy soaking wet soapy rug up over the fence, draping it over both sides, and just blasted it with the hose for a long, long time. Filthy water poured off of this thing, but eventually went from grey bubbles to grey water to clear water. I rinsed and rinsed and rinsed it with the hose nozzle set to the harshest spray level, and then left it there to dry in the sun. It wasn't even that hot (or sunny!) of a day, but there was nothing else to do with it.

I went out to check on it after about 2 hours and Lo and Behold it was clean! Really, really clean, and the pile was as fluffy as the day I got it. It was also almost dry, and so I flipped it around to get the rest of the day's sun on the other side.

Like I said, this thing was only about 40 dollars, but I saved it and I learned a great technique in the meantime. I even considered cleaning other people's rugs for them, for maybe 15 bucks?

It is very IKEA-ish but it was originally from KMart. I remember distinctly the night I ran to Kmart for a quick errand and came home with the big polka dot rug...it was just so cute that Steve understood right away why the random purchase. I am so glad we didnt have to get rid of it!!!!!

a lament

I read this today on Mothering, and it was a cute story, but it made me really sad....because I, a life-long Michigander, have alwasy been the one to "stick up for" winter. When people heard that there was a forecast for snow, I was always the one to think "Yippee!!", and to tell anyone within earshot what horrible scrooges they were for bemoaning and begrudging the beautiful and fun and inevitable S-N-O-W. I vowed I would never become one of these wierdos, obsessed with spring and summer--I loved to sled and skate and I have even skiied as a teenager and LOVED it.

but....but...but....its just over for me, now. We are always sick in the winter, and I mean always. there is no sledding, there is no skating. There is Daddy too sick to shovel and Mommy too sick to buy healthy groceries, and a whole lot of outrageous heating bills and pizza and misery. Hacking coughs that take our breath away, cancellations of every winter party, Valentines party, St Pattys day party and usually my own birthday party (April 3rd!) I have very few memories of not being extremely sick on my birthday.

So, even though paintings of "Up North" types of scenes, with little Cardinals and Squirellys and White Pines make me so happy, and even though I have idyllic visions of sitting on my log couch in my log cabin high up in the woods, curled up with my Woolrich red plaid blanket, Sipping on some decadent chocolate coffee, just looking and looking and looking at the birds out in the white expanses of snow, (maybe even a little notebook at my side to write down that mister bluebird came today, or Rose breasted grosebeak came back to visit) this plan is slipping out of my grasp as something that is possible for me or my family anymore, and I am really sad.

We are getting better now, but I dont dare take us anywhere. The baby is still having such harrowing, gasping coughing, and I am still getting really dizzy and wiped out when I try to do much of anything around the house, let alone dress us all for some "outing". I just feel so sad about this, and dont know if we honestly need to move somewhere else, an old fashioned notion of "delicate" health, I dont know. I just don't know. but almost 1/2 the year now is being cancelled due to this syndrome, and I dont think it is any way to live. Please dont write to me about Echinacea or garlic, we have spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars on that stuff, and it never ever helps. :(

Super Steve

My dear husband is a much under appreciated superstar at his job. This is the job where I call him screaming about "Where is the ketchup?!?!" and "How do you get Mario to the shine sprite level?!?!", and such. Well, through all of our unappreciation, not ironing his outfits, not making him breakfast, griping about his hours, grumbling about him smelling like "oil" when he gets home (arent we a horrible bunch?) he sold ONE MILLION dollars in auto parts in 2007. (He works for Volvo)

He got a presidents' club award and an invitation to a very VERY ritzy dinner gala event in which he was honored along with a roomfull of other super stars from around our state. He of course, got to bring a guest and it was me, old meanie! He had to wear a suit and tie and looked hotter than I have ever seen him. My paperdoll-baby, I was so proud to even sit by him, man is he adorable dressed up like that. It was kind of outrageous. I scraped together some hideous black sweater and long skirt thing but it wasnt my night and there was nothing else to do. Some women were in actual honest to goodness formal wear/prom dresses and some had on pants and some blouse thing. so I was fine, even though I felt pretty gross and under dressed.

This was not some weird banquet hall with mostaccioli over burners, this was a 5 course fancy meal and we had a blast. We got to carpool with an extremely silly and outrageous (anyone watch Jackass on MTV? too fun) guy from his work who is about 24 and his really funny and cool wife, and they had us cracking up and feeling young and childless all the way there. We sat with them and had the "fun table", it was alot like our wedding-- I was actually thinking that mashed-potato sculptures or worse would end up happening once the alcohol got flowing, but mostly funny stories about work and life were flying fast and I laughed all night long.

The EXTREMELY rich and powerful owner of the entire "collection" of dealerships (over 100 in Michigan) was there, and he ended up coming to our table more than once (like I said, we were the fun table) and he talked to me about my hair!!!!!! I handled it super well, it was all fun and good, and he very good naturedly pretended that maybe he would "go green" LOL. He was super nice, the whole thing was just so fun. We even had desserts and ice creams and joked that we needed valets to roll us out the door we were so insanely stuffed.

THEN the honorees all got a paper that had about ten choices of really nice gifts they could decide upon; leather briefcases, wooden poker sets, fishing rods, crystal trophies, and a funky McHammer jacket that the silly guys were joking about getting matching ones.....then the "dates" (me) all got LITTLE BLUE BOXES FROM TIFFANYS I do not kid about this kind of stuff.

It was a silver bracelet, very cool and normal looking. I couldnt believe I actually got something from Tiffanys! First of all, if Steve ever got me something from there I would want to take it back and have the money for other stuff! Secondly, I like to think I dont care about brand names---but it was still so cool, right??

We never did get pictures of our dear hotty Steve as he took that suit off the second we got home, greeting our amazing friend Trish, and the kids, in the hustle and bustle of all that, I never took a picture of him...Thank you dear dear Trish who babysat so cheerfully and for so late on a weeknight...

But here is my blue box and my bracelet. I am so proud of Stevie and am going to be alot more supportive and alot less selfish and ridiculous to him from now on.

cooly house

Of all the styles I like, of all the things I find beautiful and cool and awesome and exciting, I will have to say that the log-cabin is the number one for me. Do you know that store, Outdoor World? It is this giant mega mart of fishing and hunting crap, crazy tents and grills and boats and acorn shirts for Grandmas, but the whole thing in there just gets me so excited. I want to "do" my house up like that. I want a bed with big huge logs for the frame of it. I want log couch, too. Log walls. Wood floors. Massive amounts of money spent on feeding and enjoying and listening to the birds, identifying them, recording it all down, encouraging them to nest and stay all year. On my log couch with my special sitting nook and coffee coffee coffee and tea tea tea and yeah hell yeah the new agey tribal flutes Cd, too-- all of it. The Oak leaf fleece blanket on my slippered feet. A mountain retreat?

Ok so what about the high rise and IKEA and pink neon plastic JPop ornaments and Chinese paper star lanterns and the Bubble Chair and post modern modern 3 story deluxe apartment in da sky? I don't think they are mutually exclusive. At all.

So the closest to my dream would be the kinda stuff you see on maybe Extreme Homes or something, even though none of it is very crazy. I want beauty and peace and woodsy modernism. Like Cardinals and acorns but drawn in a cool way.

Birdie

http://www.zacandzoe.com/misc/zzonebird.html
See this? Why is it so expensive? i think I want to make some cutey little calico birds for decorations/toys and I might use these for inspiration. Cute, right? Rediculous what some people will pay for things.

So cute new blankies

I have a thing for winter-symbolism. Snowflakes, especially. Any time of the year, the darling and precious snowflake on a plate, a cup, a sweater, a hand towel, or a BLANKET, and I am just giddy. So adorable and appealing are the pictographic images that surround not necessarily Christmas, but winter, and I am just ga-ga.

So guess what I got? The yummiest, fluffy-puffiest, deep and warm and utterly GORGEOUS bedding set from Target last night! My sweet sweet people from the Friday night gang at work chipped in and got me a Target gift card--such an unexpected surprise, especially the nice thing they wrote in the card--sniff! sniff!-- and I high tailed it to the nearest Target and bought this fantastical thing. Comforter and 2 pillowcases. Flannel. Coolest color scheme. SO thick--did I even know I wanted a thick quilt, per se? Well, lemme tell ya this bed is SICK now, how it beckons me! I really cant even look in my room when I visit the bathroom oh so many times a day because like a magnet, this "new bed" SUCKS ME IN with its soft and fluffy beauty.

Thank you, sweet curling club Friday people, and thank you Target for selling something so high quality and gorgeous for $29.99. My bedroom is so glorious now, I am going to go jump in immediately! G'night! Off to puffyville!

Seasonal complaints

My whole family is drying up! They are thirsty and have the driest skin. I chase them around with lip balms and ice waters and bought super expensive cracked-skin cream. Arggg. We need a humidifier but I picture it not working and the little ones dumping it or drinking it or worse. Winter can be a pain. I like it, alot, in theory, but it is just a PAIN. In summer, it is hot and you always feel sticky and gross and flithy, but at least there isn't all this huge MAINTENANCE the second you wake up, you know? In winter, t is just so much WORK to feel like you have it together. It is the opposite of relaxed-island living.

I wake up and immediately I am FREEZING and have to put on a huge outfit. Long sleeved shirt, sweater, jeans, socks, shoes, and then run to go pee! My lips are split and I am super thirsty and cold. I cant bear the idea of going out to the kitchen shivering and tense, and all the household chores seem much harder. The kids don't want to get up, and when they do, they seem to always be barefoot and i pester them to get some socks on, NOW. I HATE seeing their little red feet with crumbs on them--- YUCK. I want everyone to be totally dressed, even down to shoes. I get uptight when it is cold. It is my parenting/protecting thing coming out. I feel much less tolerant of relaxed/lazy stuff and want hot meals to be eaten properly, at the table, and then cleaned. No summery treats all over the place. If my kids liked this stuff, it would be oatmeal for breakfast, soup for lunch, chili or stew or lasagna for dinner, cocoa for bedtime. Baths for all children, slather them all from head to toe in the expensive medical cream, pass around the chapstick, 4 sippy cups of ice water, and in footie pajamas asleep by 7:30pm. Too bad I'm never even home anymore at night.

So what is it about winter that I supposedly like? It is pretty. when we have what we need in the house, which feels like never, we can be cozy and safe. We can sled, in theory, but we don't get deep snow like we used to, and it is an ORDEAL to put it mildly. Maybe this year Steve can come with us--but we never have boots of our own, only the kids do....last year Charlie couldn't walk so I concluded that he was too little to sled so he stayed home with Daddy.

We could ice skate but we don't know how and it seems difficult/impossible to teach 4 kids to skate at the same time if i cant skate. This would be a good situation for a helping adult friend. We have an ice arena very close by....

In theory we could have jaunty laughing friends over for jaunty laughing hot drinks and movie nights....this one does sound quite good....

I like to wear big cozy clothes that make me feel cute and not like my lard is spraying out. Summer time is a gross time of armpits flying out and hyper leg hair maintenance and dry-spot-on-your-foot-shame marketing pressure and i resent all that. That stuff ruins summer. In winter I can wear my jeans and long sleeved t shirts and look cute and feel nice and protected, not like I am in some swimsuit competition everytime I go to the grocery store.

I like to cook and bake and have it be a good thing that the oven heats up the whole kitchen, not a torture fest.

I guess all I am actually trying to say is winter and summer suck and I like fall. Taking care of four children in extreme temperatures is much much harder than when it is nice out.

:)

Battling the brrr

Wow, did we ever get close to doing something rather hasty. We were --this close-- to moving just because we have some ideas about simple living and thought that we HAD to live in a tiny tiny cabin to live simply--and mostly, because our gas heating bills were so high last year and we thought with our big, old, inefficient furnace, and our long, big (for us) drafty house, there was no hope. But we can do simple living here, and we have made lots of strides in this area, even if all the work has been majorly curtailed by me working most nights, we are still on track. It costs about $2000 to move and we dont have it. Plus it is really really really alot of work to re-set up a home life. With little children, it is so much more than just unpacking stuff when you can. It is major disruption of schedules and lots of negative fallout as a result that takes months if not longer to recover from. Sounds kinda like a nightmare right now.

So here is my new stance on the heat-bill thing: The Man cant chase me from my home. Can I honestly say we did EVERYTHING we could last year to keep the bills their lowest? No.

The new plans:

We will discontinue all use of our "3 season room" which connects our driveway to our home. You can park in the driveway but then you have to come to the front door. There is no overnight parking on our street, so oh well. Walk 100 feet and get over it. (These mean words being directed at myself not my visitors!)

We will lock and put down blankets/towels in front of the door that leads to this room and will not go in there unless extremely necessary. For those of you who remember me saying it was going to be our homeschool gym, well, we just cant afford any play toys at all although we got a slide a few months ago, we can put it in the kids' bedroom and be "fun-parents" until spring.

We will put on the storm windows AND the blow-dryer plastic treatment on EVERY window in the house. We will put down rolled up blankets in front of every door that leads to the outside. We will lay down rugs and wear shoes and socks or slippers from the time we wake up until bedtime.

We are going to start using space heaters, as well. These are not dangerous as people are lead to believe, they are small and cheap and efficient and they all have no-tip sensors inside so they instantly turn off when and if they get knocked over. We only use 2 bedrooms for sleeping, so we could theoretically turn the heat OFF at night, or way down. Daddy gets up early to go to work and, like the olden times only much much easier, he could be the one to turn on/up the heat.

We could theoretically use 4 or 5 little space heaters at different times and not use gas heat hardly at all. I already use cold to wash clothes and we don't have a dishwasher. So it would be heating our baths and showers only, and somewhat our home. We are on a "payment plan" with the electric company anyhow, we pay $104 a month so we could use the electric space heaters without too much worry.

I think back to what people used to have to do in the mornings in the way of chopping wood out in the snow, using outhouses, milking freezing cows and goats, lighting fires, and I think we are wimpy pathetic people nowadays. I have no interest in "freezing" all day, nor wearing hats in the house or anything so sad or extreme. But with the money saved from not living the way we did last winter, we could definitely afford six pairs of slippers or a fireplace guard (we only do fires at night because Charlie can walk right into our fireplace, it is right at floor level.)

Thank you, Mom for helping us out last year when we got our gas bill for $800. It won't happen again!

Peeping tomgirl

Ahh, winter. Time for Cocoa, fireplaces, big cozy sweaters, and peeping into people's houses.

HUH???
;)

Yes, I am going to admit here that I LOVE it when people leave their window shades open when it is dark outside and they are home with lights on. Am I trying to see some family dispute, a torrid love scene, something titillating? Well, no-- unless, like me, you are completely enamored with home decor, which can be quite exciting!

It gets dark around 5pm now, and I drive to work around 5:30. My favorite part of the drive is seeing in all the houses! I am so intrigued by the paint colors, the furniture choices, the layout of the rooms, and the actual architecture of houses, it is a wonder I stay in my lane. I hope for red lights so I can look in and at the houses. I love the tiny houses that have upstairs. I love the Brady-Bunch "modern" slab houses with the funny little carports. I love the big old farmhouses, and I love to hate the random huge new-construction homes that pop up in the middle of modest streets and never seem to sell, forever vacant with their oversized garages and no yards and no lawns and no trees, and their for sale signs out front, eventually replaced by for lease signs. I love to see how many people have a television as the ONLY thing in their living rooms besides a recliner, and I love to see funky kitchens with brown or green refridgerators and a hundred pictures of grandkids on the walls interspersed with kitschy needlepoint blessings and half hearted collections of all kinds. I love the ugly houses that look like hip IKEA showrooms inside, and I love the gorgeous homes with nothing in them. I just love it all.

I always close my curtains, maybe because I am so keenly aware of how easy it is to see everything inside a lit up house when it is dark outside. I am not some sicko, just a very curious person who finds so much of human behavior absolutely fascinating, especially when it comes to artistic choices. If I had a dog to walk, I would probably be more subtle in my peeking. I have babies to walk, but when the weather is nice enough for that, it is usually light out until way past bedtimes...So for now, I will limit my peeping for the carride to work--and if the idea of people looking in your house freaks you out, then for goodness sake-- close your curtains!!!!

Laundry talk

We found a dryer on craigslist for 20 dollars!!!
We are going to go pick it up somehow tomorrow!

The nightmare of no dryer might be over. Can u even imagine, such a vital part of big family living, just interrupted? It has been horrible. BUT, soon we will be dryin up a storm, I hope.

What I want is two washers and two dryers, but I would settle for 2 washers and one dryer. anyhow, for now, that is only a dream.

We have new system, and I know big families are constantly in search of systems, so here is what we do:

We have 6 baskets, one for each person. I lay them all on the couch and then tkae huge mounds of clean clothes and toss them unfolded into their person-basket. then Daddy and the kids take them off to their appropriate rooms and, with some assistance for Charlies cloths of course, they get folded and put into the drawers and you have to bring Mama back the baskets. Somedays I will refill 'em, somedays that is all you have to do. I shouldnt say days, it is an evening chore.

What do you do to get the clean clothes back to the drawers, if you do at all? ; )

My first time

We just had to do what I think alot of parents had to do way before I ever did: completely LEAVE the grocery store without completing the task of obtaining the food, due to toddler spaz attack, level 4, code crimson.

It was actually quite funny and liberating! We have needed to grocery shop for days and days now, and even though I can get better prices pickin' and choosin' at the farmer's market and the produce store and Sam's Club and Wal-Mart and the little grocery store near the house, ummm its not my big life to shop with four kids all day everyday. I am tired, we have one car, we have limitations on alot of things, and so Kroger it was decided.

I don't know if these store names are familiar to anyone living outside of the midwest, but Farmer Jack was a big store that recently went out of business, leaving Kroger and Meijer as our only local "Big Grocery Chain Stores" and the competitive pricing has gotten less competitive and stuff is just getting so expensive! I had a bad feeling when I saw $2.49 a pound for red onion and $2.19 a pound for apples. APPLES! In October! In Michigan! no. then I wanted a small bag of almonds and they were 7 bucks. Frozen Salmon was $8.99. Pop was like 4 bucks. It was stupid.

But back to the toddler meltdown.

So we got one of those fun carcarts, and Casey and Charlie rode in the carpart. Knowing that this would only last so long before they beat each other or started to climb out the window of the car or whatnot, We also brought a stroller which Greta and Mickey pushed, empty. I had some ridiculous image in my mind that Charlie might "rest" in there, like he is 6 months old or something. So I brought a blanket and a pacie and a water. Thoughtful of me, right?

While we were still in the produce section, Charlie started up his high pitched demand of "I COME OUT. I COME OUT. I COME OUT! I COME OUT?! I COME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I COME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I! COME! OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ok, ok, there are like 12 grandmas staring at me like they never saw a mom before, and so in my best, best super patient "lil' buddy" voice, I said ok, honey, lets try the stroller" and I put him in the stroller. He was screeching before I could even buckle him in. Of course, I am over 6 feet tall, bending over our piece of crap broken stroller with some sweater on that only a few minutes ago felt cozy and jaunty but now was strangling me to death and threatening to roast me/give me heatstroke/itching, bleeding hives and so, I was pretty much high blood pressuring out and we weren't even in aisle one.

"There you go, hun" I smashed the little clicker into its receptacle.

"Greta, please push him around so I can pick some things"

Mickey has chosen this moment, like so many other high pressure moments, to chitty chitty chitty chitty chat and vaguely beg for weird things. I completely do not answer him. ?If he missed the 15 minute prelude speech that I gave in the parking lot about how we are only buying what is on the list and if you beg for other crap you will not go trick or treating then that isn't my problem, and besides, who could hear anything right now with Charlie SCREECHING.

I put a tiny bag of $4.99 a pound sugar snap peas in my cart. I have no idea why.

We get to the end of the produce and Casey is climbing out of the window of his race car cart and Mickey pounces onto the roof of it and screams "BOO!" and Casey starts crying, a bit fake, but nice and loud. So now I have 2 boys crying. We enter the beginning of aisle one. Some woman in a Kroger uniform walks over to Greta and the strollerfull of screaming Charlie and sticks a purse that is in the shape of a dog in his face and says "Look! Look! Look! Who's this? Is this doggie? Is this doggie?" and I said "Please, don't. Excuse us, please"

but over the din of Charlie's crying, neither of us really heard each other and I made a head-bobbin motion for Greta to just push the baby away and go on a walk, which she did not get and started getting frustrated with me. I decided to "pull over" and "regroup", and so I squatted down to Charlie to decipher what it was he was screaming. "I WALKIN" is what he was saying. He wanted to walk. As in, like a person does in a store. Like you see little girls do in stores, but not so many little boys. (Call me sexist, but then go do some field research and get back to me. I got 10 years in the field and I know what I know. 2 year old girls are capable of straight-line walkin now and then. 2 year old boys....they got about 5 or 6 more years to go before walkin can be achieved without some major glitches)

So, in the same delusional universe that decided to wear the wool sweater, that decided to go with the car-cart, that decided to buy snap peas, that decided to pack a little blankie in case he wanted to REST, I unbuckled Charlie and thought maybe he could walk with us.

and then he was gone. for a moment I thought "ahhh silence" but--no, no that's terrible--"Stay here, guys!" I briskly walked around the corner , fully expecting to see a tiny little person and when I didn't, I felt horrible. I ran to the next aisle and the next aisle--where he was about halfway down the aisle, trotting pretty fast. (Oh, how I wish for his birthday tomorrow I could rent him an empty grocery store and let him free!! No glass jars or staring grannies, please) so I jogged up behind him and said "Hey, baby! You can't just run off like-----"BOOM! He bucked back and headbutted me in the jaw. I dropped all facades at this point and put him under my arm like we all do when hoity toity grannies are not looking. I marched back to aisle one and told the children "We are leaving. We are not buying the food right now. It is ok. Lets just leave"

That's all I needed to say, right?

No. Mickey and Casey were SO confused and really, weren't we all? They thought that perhaps here, in this burning inferno sweater, in aisle freakin ONE, holding a 30?40? pound child who is completely tantrumming out and screaming SO hard he was turning FUSCHA. that I should explain in 100 words or more exactly what was happening.

"WE ARE LEAVING, GUYS. NOW. LETS GO!"

I grabbed our sticky gross pop cans, my purse, and ripped off that damn sweater, and threw them in the empty stroller which Greta thank goodness had the sense to just push and not question me. Mickey and Casey were blathering on: what about the apples and what about the peas and fortunately for us all, Charlie was just too loud to really be expected to hear anything.

And so, calmly, swiftly, mainly just just determined to hold my head up high---I channeled all the stories of all the mommies who ever "had to leave" , and they enveloped me in a good, rightful, strengthening, refreshing harmony as we made our way out to the car. I felt brave, in control. I didn't want their rip off food anyways, nor did I want to see another evil rich peach haired old lady for a long, long time. I felt really, really much better as soon as we got out of that store.

Or maybe it was just taking off the sweater.

We'll get some other groceries from other stores someway somehow along the way over the next few days, we always do, and we have stuff here tonight to eat for dinner, (along with what I can only hope are plenty of Butterfinger bars and dark chocolates from trick or treating!!!) Of course not every trip is like this, in fact, it really hardly ever phases me to shop with all the children.

Happy Halloween!