Tuesday, February 12, 2008

a lament

I read this today on Mothering, and it was a cute story, but it made me really sad....because I, a life-long Michigander, have alwasy been the one to "stick up for" winter. When people heard that there was a forecast for snow, I was always the one to think "Yippee!!", and to tell anyone within earshot what horrible scrooges they were for bemoaning and begrudging the beautiful and fun and inevitable S-N-O-W. I vowed I would never become one of these wierdos, obsessed with spring and summer--I loved to sled and skate and I have even skiied as a teenager and LOVED it.

but....but...but....its just over for me, now. We are always sick in the winter, and I mean always. there is no sledding, there is no skating. There is Daddy too sick to shovel and Mommy too sick to buy healthy groceries, and a whole lot of outrageous heating bills and pizza and misery. Hacking coughs that take our breath away, cancellations of every winter party, Valentines party, St Pattys day party and usually my own birthday party (April 3rd!) I have very few memories of not being extremely sick on my birthday.

So, even though paintings of "Up North" types of scenes, with little Cardinals and Squirellys and White Pines make me so happy, and even though I have idyllic visions of sitting on my log couch in my log cabin high up in the woods, curled up with my Woolrich red plaid blanket, Sipping on some decadent chocolate coffee, just looking and looking and looking at the birds out in the white expanses of snow, (maybe even a little notebook at my side to write down that mister bluebird came today, or Rose breasted grosebeak came back to visit) this plan is slipping out of my grasp as something that is possible for me or my family anymore, and I am really sad.

We are getting better now, but I dont dare take us anywhere. The baby is still having such harrowing, gasping coughing, and I am still getting really dizzy and wiped out when I try to do much of anything around the house, let alone dress us all for some "outing". I just feel so sad about this, and dont know if we honestly need to move somewhere else, an old fashioned notion of "delicate" health, I dont know. I just don't know. but almost 1/2 the year now is being cancelled due to this syndrome, and I dont think it is any way to live. Please dont write to me about Echinacea or garlic, we have spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars on that stuff, and it never ever helps. :(


Kelley said...

Joy, I'm sorry you guys are so sick. Sickness is yucky no matter when it hits, but especially when you want to be enjoying the weather. I'm sorry.

Trish said...

The illness just plain sucks! But it's strange that we're on opposite paths in our feelings toward Michigan winters.

Until this year I dreaded every stupid snow flake. I started paging through bulb catalogs right around Valentines Day - planning my beautiful Spring garden. I would make paper flowers and butterflies to hang around the house to remind me that winter would only last a bit longer.

This year I've been happy to see the sparkling snow. It's been so pretty! We've also had some illness - but not as much/bad as you guys. But I completely get where you're coming from.
I imagine it'd be different if being sick didn't last so long! You can't go out playing in the fluffy white stuff if you're hacking and wheezing. :-(
I hope you're all better QUICK!!!!